HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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