I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
