We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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