Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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