nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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