I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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