Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
