Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
