Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
