Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
