Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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