I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
