i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My breasts were aching with rage.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
