i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
