Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
