He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
