i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
