Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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