I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
