I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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