you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Randomize
