It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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