This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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