Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
