Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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