i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
