Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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