my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
