he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
