I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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