i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
