I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
