Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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