remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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