but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
