Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
