you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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