Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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