This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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