ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
