dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
