So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
