i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
