she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
