I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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