so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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