what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
