Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
His nipple licking is glorious
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