sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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