david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
