I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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