I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"it" just moved
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
