I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
