Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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