He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
